Just a quick one today ladies. Focused on faulty, bad quality zips, A.KA. my new worst enemy.
Picture this, you’re in the toilet, in a bar, alone and the zip of your brand new playsuit only goes and breaks. You need safety pins, help, a double vodka mixer and to remember to breathe.
Sound familiar? It probably does considering we all buy from the same online shops that let us down time and time again but we just can’t help ourselves can we? We see the latest wet wipe from the latest guilty pleasure TV show post a discount code and BANG we’re back in the bathroom with our broken playsuit wishing boohoo would piss off.
I should let you know, I can’t sew, stitch, knit or do basically anything else textiles related so when my zip breaks, i’m done so why, why, WHY does it always happen to me? Can a zip not once just not let me down?
Anyway, back to this particular night. I holla a friend and before I know it she’s pinning me into the snake print suit that might I add was slightly too big for me! Now this is when any self respecting young adult would call it a night to save her dignity. Nope. Not me, I stick on my denim jacket and order a drink. Big mistake.
So, I can’t pee since there’s no physical way of getting this contraption off without significant assistance and the seal was well and truly broken about 5 bevs ago but I some how manage to keep it together and make it home with a little more of my dignity than I expected to have. So in a drunken blunder I even manage to get the thing off me to go to bed (we’ve all woken up in last nights clothes once or twice).
Yet the thing is ripped, bloody ripped. I have elegantly hauled it off my fake tanned slightly orange body and ripped it. It’s a crisis, a calamity a catastrophe! I’m crying, my bank accounts crying but you know who isn’t crying? Ironically, Boohoo.
Well played Boohoo.
Well played.
ramblings of a drama queen 